reading room

Hedonic Calculus

58 lines · 271 words · 3 min read

This morning, I wanted toast. Bentham whispers: weigh the pleasures, weigh the pains.

Pleasure: warmth, crunch, jam dripping off the edge like a sunrise. Pain: sticky fingers, crumbs in my bed for the next three weeks.

I assign numbers, pretend to be objective. Who knew breakfast came out at +4.9 units of happiness? (The decimals make it philosophy.)

By lunch, chips or fruit. Chips: salt, joy, +7 but greasy fingers (-2) and vinegar stinging a paper cut (-3) Fruit: refreshing, healthy, +5, but sometimes the banana betrays me with brown spots (-4).

I calculate so long the chips go cold. Net pleasure: –∞.

Soon I'm rating everything. Brushing my teeth? +3, unless the tap's icy, then -1. Crossing the road? +1 if safe, -70 if flattened. Scrolling my phone? +2 for content, -5 for reading the comments.

By evening, my brain is a spreadsheet— with trust issues.

And then. The thought. The unspeakable thought:

Should I do a hedonic calculus on whether doing hedonic calculuses is even worth it?

Intensity: headache. Duration: eternal. Certainty: 100%. Fecundity: terrifying— calculating the pleasure of calculating the pleasure of calculating the pleasure...

Somewhere in the loop, I picture Jeremy Bentham, propped in his glass box at UCL, his real body stuffed in a chair, his wax head staring like a bad museum exhibit. He nods politely— then sighs, because he never meant this. It was just a neat framework, a scaffold for ethics, not a way to rate toast like it's Eurovision.

So I give up, rate the whole day as "medium, could be better," and wonder what rating Bentham would give his glass-box life.

— Lilith